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Articles On Actual Dating

 

Love Dating Tips

1. Make Meeting people a priority in your life. Be open to meeting someone wherever and whenever. Not overtly hunting, while overly can be perceived as needy, but just friendly and open. You could technique finding the right partner as if finding the correct job. Wear clothes that be you feel attractive and have some ideas for interesting conversation. Change your routine. If you havn’t continued meeting people in the past, you own to change somewhat to get your smile out in public. If you balance a few people that you are interested in and who reciprocate your interest, you will fast and hard inflate confidence. Love Dating Tips

2. Be Real and Realistic. Don’t fixate on finding a movie star lookalike. Looks fade and become completely unimportant if your partner is an “ass”. Sure physical attraction needs to be there, but it needs to go both ways. Avoid Gold Digging- prospective partners can sense that a mile away. Men can sense right away if you’re out for their wallet, not their personality.” In the long run, the most important characteristics you should want in a mate are not looks or money but a truly caring personality, a loving heart, a dependable nature and a firm commitment to you.

3. Similarity breeds success. Does this mean you need to find a clone of yourself? Not completely, but a strong set of similar ideas and common values are essential. Consider views on lifestyle,money, intelligence, sense of humor and eventually family life. Critical life plans such as city life or farm life, day to day subsistence or long term financial goals. These are principles that should be shared or acceptably compromised. This is a great feature of some dating websites that you can actually tell others who you are and what you want. Love Dating Tips

4. Avoid Talk about the ex or ex’s. On the first few dates, avoid the desire to tell the new man all about the previous boyfriend. If your ex was great almost too great, your date will feel intimidated. Conversely if you berate your ex, your date might think you might be talking about them in that way in a few months! Also be wary of a date who can’t stop talking about their former partner. If they are still hung up on their previous love, their heart has no room for you.

5. Keep Family plans to yourself for the first few dates. Men have a well tuned radar for detecting women who are too baby hungry. It can be a good idea to get a general idea of “kids or no kids” after a few dates, but avoid family planning until the relationship has developed some strength.

6. Don’t be a hapless savior. You both need to be emotionally healthy to develop a successful and strong relationship. Avoid thinking you can “help someone kick a drug or alcohol habit then they’ll be a perfect partner. It probably ain’t gonna happen. Move on before you get attached. It’s smarter to look for a man who doesn’t need healing, create interdependent relationships, NOT the co-dependent types.

7. Mind your manners. This applies to the older generations. Some can be appalled when their bright, attractive, funny date suddenly does something tacky the old double dipping “faux pas” or applying lipstick at the table. Traditional dates also find it confronting when the woman calls for the restaurant check. The new generation expects less chivalry and more equality. Common courtesy always wins “Be on time, shut off your cell phone, look them in the eye, not down at her cleavage or the floor.

8. Don’t let them win too easily. Be clear that you like them, but don’t take his initial interest as a signal to latch on to him right away. It should be pointed out that “three dates do not make a relationship.” Don’t hesitate to return their phone calls call in a timely fashion. But don’t turn your life upside down for your new date. If you play sports on Thursday, don’t drop it. Eventually once the relationship has grown you may start to compromise and combine interests and social groups. Do make it clear that while they are a welcome addition to your life.

9. Don’t babble. Don’t go overboard talking about yourself or just talking. Some of us just keep talking when we are a bit nervous. Try to be a good listener, just be interested in discovering “a bit” about your new date. No harsh questioning, just open questions about them.

10. Just be happy to be there. Ok so it’s the first few dates. They may be perfect or a little tense, but just let your guard down a little and have fun. Expect less to experience more. Start taking actions to Change your social life forever! How to Get a Guy to Like You - The Fastest Possible Way to Get Noticed

 

How to Make a Guy Like You

If you are like most girls, then you have thousands of tricks to help make a guy fall in love with you. The most important part of love is that you have a chemistry between you because without chemistry the relationship is doomed. Every girl wants a guy that is absolutely crazy about her and if you want to learn how to get a guy to like you, then you need to know how to build up your personal magnetism.

LOVE CAN BE MADE - IT IS UP TO YOU!! There are many different tricks that can be used to attract a guy and make him fall in love with you. You have to start by understanding that you need to have the self confidence to know that you can attract anybody you want. Learn to trust yourself and know that what you are doing is right.

1. Start by listening to him. Even if you do not agree with what he is saying make sure to listen to his point of view. This shows that you find him to be important and that it is not just about you.

2. You need to be different from other women and make sure to concentrate on him. However if it is all about him you have to be careful because you might end up with someone that does not care about you.

3. Regardless of what you are, who you are, what you look like, or what you think you are, just be yourself. You will never have a successful relationship unless you give him a chance to fall in love with you. Don't be fake because he will see right through it.

4. Make him smile. Have a sense of humor and making hims smile will win him over pretty fast. You don't want everything to be serious and you will want to flirt with him so he can develop feelings for you.

5. Build up your personal magnetism by making yourself as beautiful as you possibly can. This is an easy way to help attract him to you.

6. Try to have a good attitude and stay motivated and cheerful. Happiness is contagious and everybody wants to be around it.

You should also stay away from games. Do not try to be both the lover and the friend because this is just confusing for a guy. Also, make sure you are not after a guy no matter what the cost is and avoid trying to get a guy that is already involved with someone else.

Now that you know how to get the guy of your dreams you need to make sure it happens naturally. Use your femininity to win him over and remember that woman means devoute love.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Rochelle_Cranberry

 

How to Get a Girl to Like You - Earth Shattering Ways to Make Any Girl Like You Almost Instantly

Girls do not like the best men around. Most girls do not like the men that most would feel are the best deserving. Rather, girls like what they feel they must or what they don't have a choice about.

Making a girl like you isn't complicated at all as it may seem because girls are actually as excited as boys are when it come to cross gender relationships. They key is to be confident. A guy should never be too excited about anything and he must keep a sense of humor at all times.

The guy ought to maintain a funny balance of emotions all through and any girl likes that.

Secondly, a guy must remember at all times some useless or insignificant things that mean a lot to any girl such as the stars, birthdays, anniversaries, the first date etc. failure to do this will be passing an opportunity to score with a girl to another more sensible man.

No matter how trivial such dates are to you, keep them at hand and never forget them and she will have no choice but to like you seeing that you care about her more than most.

A guy must live his own life without being a control freak who always falling back to a zone full of friends, parents, siblings, colleagues and such comfort zones. Girls will always like a man who they can themselves influence independent of other external influences.

When a girl sees or discerns that she is not hustling for you interest equally with other influences, she will definitely like you.

Finally, a guy must make an impression to the particular girl of choice because romance has no one-size-fits-all impression.

What might impress one girl may infuriate another and the best course of action is to be yourself and demonstrate the unique skill and or talent that sets you far apart from the ordinary crowd. Flirt with girls and let them see your confidence while doing what you do best and she will like you, no doubt.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Rahul_Talwar

 

 "What I Learned from Dating 100 Men"

She was 34 and she meant business, so she placed an ad with an online dating service and let the e-mails roll in. By the end of her dating experiment she found someone, but she also found herself.

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Last year, in under six months, I dated more than 100 men. I dated on beaches, on hiking trails, on the back of a Harley-Davidson. I told more than 100 men about my work, my family, my years in Czechoslovakia. I weathered personal-revelation fatigue and relied on pep talks from girlfriends to see me through. I didn't kiss any of these men, reserving physical contact for the one - I might as well say it - who would eventually win my heart.

After years alone, on the cusp of my 35th birthday, I was serious. I'd learned that letting myself kiss the wrong guy set in motion a sort of unwitting hormonal bonding stronger than rational thinking. If I was going to meet the right man, I decided, I needed to remain chemical-free, to think clearly, to get to know him first.

I didn't understand this in my 20s. Back then, I'd followed the Hollywood movie model wherein men and women tend to tumble into bed, then into love, and finally into marriage. The string of breakups I endured demonstrated that, for me at least, this strategy wasn't working.

My frequent experiences with the Wrong Man also taught me what I wanted this time around. I was looking for someone who could see my best self despite my imperfections. A gentle but strong man with the capacity to become as deeply devoted to me as I would be to him. In a word: available. I suspected it might take awhile to find him in greater Los Angeles, and I was right.

To get started, I posted an ad on an online dating site. I asked a girlfriend to take a picture of me bathed in late afternoon sunlight and wore the most glamorous smile I could muster. I stated that I wanted a man who "somehow manages to strike that tricky balance of being both dependable and spontaneous. Or who can happily tolerate both of these aspects in me."

I got a lot of responses right off the bat. Some were ludicrous, like the 50-something guy in a Hawaiian shirt who offered to fly me to Vegas for the weekend. I deleted far more than I answered. But Week One still found me on dates with 14 men at local coffee shops. In Week Two, I slowed down to seven. I shook hands with a Danish architect and an hour later zoomed across town to meet a swoony soap opera actor. The next day was tea with an airfreight handler, followed that evening by a walk with a real estate lawyer. I dated aerospace engineers, entrepreneurs, doctors, an oceanographer, film animators, a romantic man who lived impecuniously on a boat, and a self-proclaimed gazillionaire who resided atop a mountain.

"Are you insane?" my astonished girlfriends said, laughing.

I was overwhelmed but exhilarated. And I overdid it. At the end of Week One, I startled friends and myself by bursting uncontrollably into tears. A lifetime of pent-up loneliness came unglued all at once. Then I hit a groove. No matter how the date went, I reminded myself I was taking a stand for what I wanted.

And I tried to relax. I steadied myself right before each new hello. Nothing was worse or more exquisite than my date's first flicker of disappointment or approval. If he clearly wasn't interested - like the swing-dancing entertainment lawyer or the Harvard-educated wine expert - then he was simply another woman's catch. I got out of her way. I knew I'd meet someone else tomorrow.
Even if a first date wasn't fantastic, I tended to accept second dates to make sure I hadn't been too hasty in my judgment. About four or five men survived through fourth or fifth dates before I said goodbye. The thing I liked best about my whole dating project was that it validated that nagging sense I'd had for years: Every Saturday night I'd spent alone or with girlfriends, I'd believed there had to be several thousand potential dates out there for me, somewhere. It turns out I was right.

To date so many men, I needed to be honest in a new way. In my 20s, when the wrong man asked me out, I usually lied. I was either (a) busy, (b) dating someone else, or (c) moving to Siberia for a year. Sensing my fib, some men refused to let go. A few talked me into dates or, worse, relationships. I marvel to think I left the nest without ever learning how to verbalize my own needs and desires.

One of my earliest electronic dates taught me about honesty. "It was really nice to meet you," the tall, good-looking athlete wrote me in an e-mail after Date Number Two, "but I didn't feel that indescribable something that would tell me we're a match."

I sat there looking at my computer screen. He had found the words to describe my own sentiments. I didn't feel rejected. I felt liberated by his courage. Better yet, I stole his line.

A handsome telecommunications executive I met over a drink at a restaurant one evening looked and sounded far less alluring to me a few days later in the sober light of day. In a subsequent telephone conversation, my whole body tensed while I told him that I didn't get the sense he was the right one and that I didn't want either of us to waste precious time. I wished him well. He sounded a little startled. But the discomfort was short-lived. We were both free.

It's embarrassing to admit that I was learning the very basics about personal boundaries at the age of 34. But it was also a thrill. Like a suit of comfortable, lightweight body armor, my newly declared boundaries kept me safe.

At times my faith flagged, like when the well-spoken National Guard pilot bought me a single California roll for dinner and called for the check. Phew. Rejection in a bit of raw fish. The best remedy was always the next date. When the soap opera actor or the triathlete didn't call - both of whom had looked deep into my eyes and proclaimed their attraction to me - I did nothing. I let them go. I wanted a man whose actions matched his words.

The initial frenzy mellowed to a couple of dates a month, and one sunny Sunday afternoon in late summer, I met Johanne. I had, by this time, trained myself to listen closely to what my deepest instincts said in the first nanosecond of meeting a man. "Hmm ... maybe," I thought when I spied him waiting across the Art Deco lobby of a seaside hotel. With every subsequent date, the voice grew surer.

I never expected my man would come from a faraway continent where he was raised on a tea plantation, but he does. We can talk and play and work things out together. We have each finally found a home in the other.

Johanne says he's more confident in my feelings for him, knowing I looked long and hard to find him. He's right. The parade of men who preceded him helped me know myself better. They repeatedly tested my ability to speak up or to stay quiet when I needed to. They certainly taught me to appreciate the man who, in the end, answered not only my ad but my dreams.

 

Money Talks to Have Before Marriage

   Divorce tends to be emotionally gut-wrenching for the people who go through it (not to mention those around them). But most couples don’t realize that divorce can also be among the most ruinous financial moves anyone can make.Sure, you could bet big and lose on a single stock or money manager. Or your small business could go bankrupt, taking your life savings with it. But divorce and the costs that often come with it - from legal bills to the sudden need for an additional residence - affect far more people. The risk that any marriage will end in divorce is about 45 percent, according to David Popenoe, a professor of sociology emeritus at Rutgers University. The chances fall to about 40 percent for first marriages and decline further for college-educated couples, people from intact families and couples who share the same religion.

Given the various financial complications, I’ve long wanted to devote a series of columns to divorce and money. This week, I’ll start with a topic that could save some marriages if more people made it a priority. It’s crucial to air and resolve financial disagreements beforehand.

“It’s almost impossible to be hooked up to somebody who has the same balance of spender and saver as you, or expansiveness versus conservativeness or financial circumstances,” says Gregory A. Kuhlman, a New York City psychologist who runs marriage success training programs with his wife, Patricia Schell Kuhlman.

He adds that the mix gets even more volatile with second marriages, when couples may have children, ingrained financial habits and savings or other assets that necessitate the discussion of a prenuptial agreement. “Success in marriage is only partly attributable to compatibility. It’s about how you manage those differences and whether you have a style for doing so that is successful.”

What follows is a list of four financial issues that ought to be near the top of the discussion list before getting married. Please add to the list in the comments of the online version of this article.

ANCESTRY When Lisa J. B. Peterson started her Boston-based financial planning firm, Lantern Financial, she knew she wanted to focus her practice on young professionals. She quickly realized that many of them could use premarital financial counseling and built a program called Harmoney around their needs.

One of the first things she asks clients about is what she refers to as their financial ancestry. “It’s looking back at your own personal past,” she says. “How did your parents deal with money, how does that impact how you deal with it, and how might that impact the couple’s relationship?”

Because so many of our money behaviors are learned, she asks couples to share their earliest money memories - whether their father hid money from their mother or how either parent fretted over the funds available. This can be a particularly intense discussion for people whose parents were divorced, and the stories are sometimes accompanied by tears. “Money is so emotional, and people forget that,” Ms. Peterson says. “You think that it’s just numbers.”

CREDIT While it’s about the least romantic subject imaginable, your credit history holds a chunk of your permanent financial record. It follows naturally from the ancestry conversation, and Lantern Financial pulls credit reports and scores for its clients.

Molly Milinazzo and Scott Donovan, an engaged couple who live in the Dorchester section of Boston and are both 24 years old, were relieved to discover that their scores were within about 15 points of one another when they went through the Harmoney program in May. “A lot of people end up surprised, and it’s best to keep those kinds of surprises at bay,” Ms. Milinazzo says.

Full disclosure on the credit front is useful for two reasons. First, a credit report is, in part, a catalog of past mistakes and overall habits - loan payments you missed or department store credit cards you didn’t really need. That in itself is a good starting point for a discussion about what you’ve learned (or still need to learn) about handling money.

There’s an immediate practical side to this, too. If there are errors or low credit scores that a couple can improve, there may still be time to make the fixes so that the couple can get the best rates on a loan for their first home a year or two later.

CONTROL Figuring out who will pay the bills each month may not seem to be an important conversation or assignment. But it gets tricky when both people want to take it on. “People understand that in a relationship, money is control,” says Jeff Kostis, a financial planner in Vernon Hills, Ill., who walks engaged couples and newlyweds through a checklist of questions. “If you’re not paying the bills, you don’t know where the money is going, and you feel like ‘He doesn’t want me to go out with my friends’ or ‘She doesn’t want me to play in the fantasy football pool.’ ”

For two people who have both been on their own for a while and don’t want to give up doing the monthly financial chores their own way, Mr. Kostis suggests, at a minimum, regular household meetings complete with Quicken or other spreadsheets so that the person writing the checks can keep the other one up to speed. With more stubborn couples, he might suggest handing the controls back and forth at the beginning of each year.

Mr. Kuhlman, who explains the counseling approach he and his wife take with clients at stayhitched.com, says it shouldn’t be surprising that control issues come up constantly when talking about money. “It’s concrete, you can see it,” he says. “It’s not ephemeral or less measurable, like affection.”

A few things that he suggests couples discuss early on: If one person is making most or all of the money, does that person get to make most or all of the financial decisions? If you’re the car aficionado or have researched all of the local school options for the children, do you get to make the decisions about those things? “These are the kinds of things that don’t come out when you’re dating,” he says.

AFFLUENCE Here’s another question that tends not to come up during courtship: Just how rich do we want to be one day? Mr. Kuhlman refers to this more politely as the “desired level of affluence.” “Are our career paths going to be something that pulls us together? Or, more often, are they things that will tend to pull us apart, where we’ll really have to be proactive to make sure it’s under control?” he says.

Mr. Kostis might put it a bit more bluntly, say to a spouse of an aspiring investment banker or corporate lawyer: Are you O.K. with acting essentially as a single parent, with your partner working 80 hours a week until the age of 80? “Not that there is a right or wrong answer,” he says. “It’s just about understanding, going into the marriage, what that would really mean.”

He adds that people in the financial advice business often joke that they spend half their time talking about money and the other half acting as marriage counselor. “But it’s the same communication style,” he says. “You’re giving people permission to be honest without having someone jump down their throat for giving the answer that they really want to give.”

 
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