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7 Ways to Build Trust in a Relationship
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Do you know these 7 concrete ways to build trust in a relationship? Often, what really makes a relationship work
are not the things we think of first. For instance, do you think you always need to spice things up? Wrong!
Predictability is more important than variety in a relationship. The following seven methods are guaranteed to grow
your connection by improving the level of trust in a relationship.
First, as I mentioned in the opening paragraph, you need to be predictable. This goes against the
common notion that you need to “stir things up” to keep the romance alive. Sure, going to a new restaurant or
giving a surprise gift can be nice, but most of all, we need things to be consistent and steady in order to make
our relationships work. Consider that trust in a relationship is built on being reliable day in and day out.
Next, you need to make sure that your words always match the message. This means that your partner
needs to hear the words which match your body language. If you say you are happy but you are frowning, your partner
doesn’t hear your words, he or she sees your face and the tone in your voice. Your parter needs to be able to trust
what you are saying. When the words match the message, you build trust in a relationship.
Third, you need to have a fundamental belief in your partner’s competency. If you don’t you won’t
have the trust in a relationship that you need. When lovingly communicated, the truth is never destructive. When
you do not believe that your partner is competent at some things (or indeed, anything), you violate the trust in a
Fourth, Don’t keep secrets. Secrets destroy the trust in a relationship. Be honest and open. Assume everything you
know will eventually come out. Secrets require enormous energy on your part. That is energy that could be going
into building the relationship.
Fifth, don’t be afraid to let your partner know what your needs are. Don’ t make him or her guess
what you need. Let them know. It is okay to be self-centered as long as you are not selfish. Indeed, if you are
reluctant to assert your needs, you may go overboard in the opposite direction and smother your partner.
Sixth, learn to say no. When your partner voices his or her needs, that is a good thing. But you
don’t need to say yes to everything. A partner cannot respect you if you never say no. Refusing to be subjugated to
the other person’s will actually builds trust in a relationship.
Finally, always pursue growth. When you plant a flower, you begin by digging in the dirt. Digging
in the dirt of our relationships can sometimes cause pain. But, through that pain, we prepare the soil for future
growth. Don’t be afraid of turmoil, crisis, or questions. These become the fertilizer for growth and change.
Embrace what is difficult.
When you decide to work on trust in a relationship, you are bound to encounter a little pain. But, as you work
through this pain, you will not only become stronger as an individual, you will also strengthen your coupledom.
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